I have been feeling a little droopy today from the chemo last week, but not so droopy that I can't answer some fan-mail before bedtime.
I'll start with a very interesting question from Bill in Chicago.
"Boswell, if you're that darn special, why do you live in a barn and not in a house with 00F?"
Brilliant question, Bill. I have no idea!!!!
So I tonight I ask 00F the very same question.
"Well, Peanut." (He always calls me Peanut when he is explaining something that he thinks I won't understand. I hate that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) "There are at least three reasons I can think of...."
"Go on," I say. Three reasons!!!!! What could they be?!?!?!?!?!?!
"Well, for one, geese can't be house-trained."
Hmm. Is that my fault?? Not worth asking. "You know, there is a woman that makes diapers for geese so that they can spend more time inside a house with the person they love," I offer, wiggling my tail feathers.
"Forget it. You are not wearing a diaper. You're over two years old."
This is ridiculous. "Well, I'm not sure how to put this tactfully. But if I did happen to have a SMALL accident or two inside the house, there is no way it would even be visible under all the giant mounds of dog and cat fur all over the floor!" Take that!!!
Silence.
"OK, good, that's taken care of. What are the other two reasons?"
"Well, Emma lives in the house and you know she would not mind having you for lunch."
Emma is a Siberian Husky. She eats cute little creatures like me just for the heck of it. She must be part wolf. There are also two other dogs, Ossies, I think, called Nick and Wally. Both the boys are clueless, but they do respect my authority."I think Emma has made some really good progress lately," I say. "She's a lot more interested in eating the waterfowl pellets than she is in eating me!! You know you were very successful in training her not to eat the cats!! So... I guess it's just a matter of you finding the time in your schedule to finish training her. Unless, of course, you just don't have the time." I punctuate this with a very loud *sigh* to make it clear that I remember that he did have the time to take Emma and the other dogs (and Nafob!!) to France last year... while I was boarded at the vet!!!!!!!!!
"So what are you saying then? You're going to walk around with some pellets to offer her when she is in the mood for a snack?"
Sheesh! He can be so dense. "No, I am saying that when you have a dog, it is your responsibility to train it!!!!!!!!"
Pause.
I have him on this one and he knows it!!!!!! YAY!!!!! Where should I put my water buckets? My arugula bowl? My pellets? My picture of Michele Norris when it comes??? So many things to decide when you are moving!!!!
"Were there any other reasons you can think of?"
"Yes. There is one big one," he says. "And I'll let you think about what it might be. It's time for bed. Good night. I love you. Good night, Woglinde," he says to my sister. "I love you, angel."
Hmm. What could that other reason be?????
5 comments:
Boswell, I just learned about you, and have to agree that you are a great guy. You're quite a hottie, too, if I may be so bold.
I don't know how you deal, dude. If 00F isn't going to train the dogs, I think you should.
I think any animal that is part wolf...should habitate in the BARN!!! Please adjust accordingly...and give Boswell his own room ---complete with cable network so he can view his upcoming "obama -esqe" following!!!!
Boz....those are quite pathetic excuseeeeeeeeeees from OOF! For your new found celebrity status...along with the fact that you have been in much pain and discomfort...I would insist on your own room...complete with cable, pool, butler(providing hr on the hr arugula treats), air condtioning, physical therapist..comfy comfy bed..(no feathers thou).. i will have "my people call your people"! Let's do lunch!! arugula enchiladas???!!
But, but ... what would you tell your sister if you are deemed special enough to live in the "big house," while she has to keep living in the barn?
I think you're lucky that you and Woglinde have a special place of your own. Plus, you'd probably have a curfew and all kinds of rules you wouldn't like if you had to hang out with the no-feathers crowd night and day. Not to mention how unpleasant it would be to have to deal with all that cat and dog fur all over the floor. Nope, I think you've got a pretty sweet set-up where you are, Boswell, so leave the fur-shedding, feather-lacking folk to their own devices and enjoy your own special pad!
Pringles and Max come inside but we dont get to stay either. Fight for goose rights!
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