tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86711492579705249712023-11-16T12:31:59.296-05:00The Daily HonkUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-31765220945092563552010-02-22T18:08:00.001-05:002010-02-22T19:57:57.126-05:00Happy Birthday, Grandmère!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHuaI-puqFJJYmd4YnfOycuyKKtkfaPNcR5DXlh85eMZqWshKwU11o17ZkPC0m_ak1ugICQJ0i__-o-kSEfWkEGfGZGLNLXeZ87rCtlVuENDNoDwHLIB2th8Mcb3cuI0Rfot4uvHyILWI/s1600-h/grandmere.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHuaI-puqFJJYmd4YnfOycuyKKtkfaPNcR5DXlh85eMZqWshKwU11o17ZkPC0m_ak1ugICQJ0i__-o-kSEfWkEGfGZGLNLXeZ87rCtlVuENDNoDwHLIB2th8Mcb3cuI0Rfot4uvHyILWI/s320/grandmere.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 85%;">Today is my Grandmère's birthday, and to celebrate I thought I'd post a delightful picture of her and I, which was taken last fall. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 85%;">Although it looks like she is struggling to hold me, I am actually as light as a feather, so she must have a pebble in her shoe!!!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 85%;">I love you, </span><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 85%;">Grandmère!!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-78320998374755147022010-02-22T17:44:00.005-05:002010-02-22T17:56:02.820-05:00Maverick or Shorty...?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyirlmh_Czxl-tChGQj5IhpmCORia2AdHJUaxwhjXHaHQcoKHJ80q_m9yspMkSmD4oezwK2z31wZXBl7bNE83irQ4rbNjse3ztq6pSn3xNsVRN2jc91sRe3C3C4OJDXMJcPtfegkU2PJw/s1600-h/feed.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyirlmh_Czxl-tChGQj5IhpmCORia2AdHJUaxwhjXHaHQcoKHJ80q_m9yspMkSmD4oezwK2z31wZXBl7bNE83irQ4rbNjse3ztq6pSn3xNsVRN2jc91sRe3C3C4OJDXMJcPtfegkU2PJw/s200/feed.JPG" width="200" /></a></div><span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Or Stormy.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Or Midnight.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">I am getting ahead of myself. Let me back up.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Like all of you, I have always wanted my very own pony. A pony that could give me rides whenever I wanted. A pony that would swish his beautiful tail and cover me in a blizzard of rainbow-colored sparkles. In short, a pony that make me the happiest goose in the world.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Imagine, then, how my bill hit the floor when I saw -- next to a bag of my own much-hated "waterfowl food" -- a bag of pony food!!!!!!!!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Could it be?!?!?!? My birthday is coming up!!!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-2295674092368894302010-02-08T18:22:00.013-05:002010-02-08T19:36:36.900-05:00Don't call me "Boswell"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXplhMc4xnGM_FAaCJcB-LQIU1ZbJoawHTd_RVtC8_clL2Psn-xJ6F7lX16r6NLESVIkBsSKz-zXsHaR3U3-SzolFCT6qggE0LuVqKs_0_cGUOCUPV6pvZNazct04quBepK13dBVHBnxk/s1600-h/f_is_for_fake.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436025644577261714" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXplhMc4xnGM_FAaCJcB-LQIU1ZbJoawHTd_RVtC8_clL2Psn-xJ6F7lX16r6NLESVIkBsSKz-zXsHaR3U3-SzolFCT6qggE0LuVqKs_0_cGUOCUPV6pvZNazct04quBepK13dBVHBnxk/s320/f_is_for_fake.jpg" style="float: left; height: 320px; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 240px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">First of all, I want to thank everyone for their kind words about my sister, Woglinde, who died two weeks ago. I really appreciate all your cards. And I really am doing much better.<br />
<br />
Here's a picture taken at my last chemo treatment at Tufts last week.<br />
<br />
Don't get me started on the crown. All I have to say about that is: When someone insists that the crown they are trying to stick on your head actually belonged to Ivan the Terrible, don't believe it!!!!<br />
<br />
Actually what I want to call to your attention is a despicable practice that permeates the entire veterinary industry. Look closely at the upper right corner of the whiteboard in the background and you will see: </span></span><span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">"Tucker." "Rose." "Barclay."</span></span><span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br />
"But 'Boswell,'" you might be saying, "what on earth is wrong with </span></span><span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">putting quotation marks around pet names???"</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">The implication, my friend, is that this is not the real Tucker, but merely a rabbit who <span style="font-style: italic;">thinks</span> he is Tucker. And that this rabbit has somehow persuaded you, his hapless owner, of that as well. So to humor you and your rabbit, we will call him (wink wink) <span style="font-weight: bold;">"</span>Tucker.<span style="font-weight: bold;">"</span> Until you leave the building, that is, when we start calling him Mr. Rabbit.<br />
<br />
I'm putting my foot down on this one, and refusing to acknowledge anyone that calls me "Boswell."<br />
<br />
Just call me Boswell. Thanks!<br />
</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-53987260201743167402010-01-25T20:45:00.010-05:002010-01-25T21:04:29.969-05:00Goodbye Woglinde<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoQ5pgvYEnwF5V9qMNvweezI1X4r33dNdrimleiEdsmwt4S8HJGOTA_g_zzcktd5cXHexIMWzVAlgFgmUgxHdz5S0XbyPr-m4qEQZJo7nt_L1aUgIA0qhmLn8IcQ6xT_EvO5-U-QpNm7o/s1600-h/woglinde+and+me.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoQ5pgvYEnwF5V9qMNvweezI1X4r33dNdrimleiEdsmwt4S8HJGOTA_g_zzcktd5cXHexIMWzVAlgFgmUgxHdz5S0XbyPr-m4qEQZJo7nt_L1aUgIA0qhmLn8IcQ6xT_EvO5-U-QpNm7o/s320/woglinde+and+me.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430861455840743586" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">My sister, Woglinde (on left in photo), died last night. No one even knew she was sick!<br /><br />I'm sad because I never thanked her for sitting right next to me for weeks and weeks and weeks when I was sick. And bringing me food when I was too tired to stand up! What a jerk I am!!! Why did I never say "That was nice. I really appreciate that!"????<br /><br /><br />I'm sad because she was sweet and pretty and patient, and now I will never see her again.<br /><br />Woglinde, I hope you can hear me!!! Thank you! I'm sorry I am a jerk! I miss you!<br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-7621425491814780702010-01-24T19:26:00.008-05:002010-01-24T20:22:53.154-05:00Life of a 21st century celebrity<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvn7mk3krAcZOaP9e-cQ4N19zksahPgeOsVdDfe0JDhLJWr36GlszQg7Qzs-V9sp0eGe8MOjV94TD8Y4Mv25HNtgZ2vC4oTVnfq84jLFT_-Qqm193bHSZ8nTyKkiD6FdMJwxx2GcjwYNI/s1600-h/wine.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvn7mk3krAcZOaP9e-cQ4N19zksahPgeOsVdDfe0JDhLJWr36GlszQg7Qzs-V9sp0eGe8MOjV94TD8Y4Mv25HNtgZ2vC4oTVnfq84jLFT_-Qqm193bHSZ8nTyKkiD6FdMJwxx2GcjwYNI/s400/wine.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430474893378479986" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:100%;">As soon as I am done with my Christmas cards, I need to extend my brand. Like all other celebrities, I need a line. A line of what though?<br /><br />Something super high-end and dumb, preferably. With totally cool packaging.<br /><br />Damn you, Grey Goose vodka! I could have made an absolutely tasteless clear beverage out of "fine French wheat" (ha!) and sold it for $30 a bottle!<br /><br />Perhaps a scent?? "Flight"... by BOSWELL. A youthful and playful women's fragrance with top notes of cumulus cloud and golden tangerine, middle notes of organic arugula and hints of linden blossom, and base notes of will o' the wisp wrapped in organic wood shavings and pink pralines. With a bottle shaped like me, of course. But that would mean my head would unscrew, and I do not like that. Not one bit.<br /><br />My aunt thinks I should have my own vineyard, like Francis Ford Coppola's. She even created a prototype (see photo). But New England grapes are inferior, so I'd have to move to the south of France and who would come with me?<br /><br />Dr. Mayer thinks I should write children's books "to show children that going to the hospital is not scary and can be fun." Dr. Mayer, my advice to young patients would be to barricade themselves in the car upon arriving at the hospital and scream loudly at passersby for help. And who would buy that?</span><br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-28709155700664952472010-01-08T17:32:00.014-05:002010-01-12T08:12:29.061-05:00The Very Secret Life of Animals<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI5hV8bhxfhyphenhyphenOTB7G5M2QKYBMEnoQ6Uq9ClJNKfsXAIejPiuRhR25k6ua1CrToKJ7m4Yg9C0VvRKkpnaZJHSCv-EOVm6JvlW27PivQQtX4GhfrxyriNHfGisRhRD6ax9HqD_Pfr8JhdG0/s1600-h/NECN1.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 279px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI5hV8bhxfhyphenhyphenOTB7G5M2QKYBMEnoQ6Uq9ClJNKfsXAIejPiuRhR25k6ua1CrToKJ7m4Yg9C0VvRKkpnaZJHSCv-EOVm6JvlW27PivQQtX4GhfrxyriNHfGisRhRD6ax9HqD_Pfr8JhdG0/s400/NECN1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5424901444298356066" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-style: italic;">The Starbucks on Chapel Street in New Haven. A man and a goose sit at a small table near the window. The goose sips a soy latte; the man, an espresso.</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />Goose:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>Oh dude! Did I tell you about my television gig?!?!?<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>: Umm, which one?<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>I was on that reporter chick's show!!!<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>: "Reporter chick"? </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>The hot one.<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>:</span></span> <span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>The hot reporter chick.... I wonder if that's on her business card.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> (scrolling through iPhone address book):</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>What is her name!! Oh here: Vicki Croke!<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>: Vicki Croke? I was on that show with you, man! I was sitting right next to you!!!!<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>OMG! I thought you must have been another guest who was on before me. Possibly someone with autism. Did you say anything?<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>: A couple things.<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose</span><span style="font-style: italic;">: </span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>I couldn't hear a word you said!! You need to E-NUN-CI-ATE! Say this: "The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain."<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>: It looked like you did well. Did you enjoy yourself?<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>Enjoy!?!? It was a celebration!!! Did you check out that green room?<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>: Green room? They had me in the employee snack room....<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose</span><span style="font-style: italic;">:</span> What a crib!! They had three-story columns carved from pink Florentine marble. The capitols were lotus blossoms and laminar fountains were shooting between the blossoms!!!<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>: I'm having trouble picturing that....<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>And table after table covered with authentic medieval tapestries! Rare and tasty bitter greens in solid gold bowls! Vintage French pond-water in wading pools!</span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>: Well, they did have free coffee in the employee snack room.... Regular AND decaf!!<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>And those peacocks!! Where did they learn to dance like that? Is there a school for poultry that teaches exotic dancing??<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>: My head is spinning. Hey, did you get any pictures?</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>Of course not!! Photography was strictly prohibited! Oops! Now that I think of it, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about this place.... Do I need to kill you?<br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span>: Nope. I just erased this whole conversation from my brain.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-31647030303319344062009-02-22T19:55:00.016-05:002010-02-22T18:32:59.684-05:00Doppelgoose. Season 1; Episode 1; Scene 1. "It wasn't me!!! (It really wasn't.)"<div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">INT. A LARGE BARN AT NIGHT.</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">BOSWELL, a handsome goose with a chiseled physique, sits intently in front of a laptop computer. His sister, WOGLINDE, sits quietly at his side so as not to disturb his concentration.<br />
<br />
</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">BOSWELL</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">Let's see.... We have organic Puntarella for Grand-Mare and organic pink passion chard for NAFOB.... What do you think?</span><br />
<br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">WOGLINDE</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">(excitedly)</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">Honk honk honk!</span><br />
</span></div><span style="font-size: 100%;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">00F (aka 00 Feathers), his dad, a unshaven man of about 50 with sleepy eyes, enters the barn.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;"> </span><br />
</span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">00F</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">Hey guys. What's up?</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">BOSWELL</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">We're picking out birthday presents!</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">00F</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">Oh yeah? For who?</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">BOSWELL</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">For Grand-Mare and NAFOB!<br />
<br />
00F<br />
Great! You know, if you're mailing those, you might want to get their names right.<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
Huh?<br />
<br />
00F<br />
If "Grand-Mare" is referring to your grandmother, even though I flunked French, I think you are trying to say "Grand-<span style="font-family: courier new;">m</span></span><span style="font-family: courier new;">è</span></span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;"><span style="font-family: courier new;">re."<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
Oh, no. I'm a French goose. I know my French. It's definitely Grand-Mare.<br />
<br />
00F<br />
OK, I'll take your word for it. And the person you call NAFOB -- his actual name is Steve. What does NAFOB mean anyway?<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
NAFOB is an acronym....<br />
<br />
00F<br />
Go on.<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
Now what was that phrase...? I completely forget! Oh! I know!! It stands for "Never A Frown Or Brave".<br />
<br />
00F<br />
That doesn't even make sense.... I could have sworn it had something to do with "Not A Friend Of Boswell".... You know, sometimes I get a just a little tired of playing Elmer Fudd to your Bugs Bunny.<br />
<br />
BOSWELL</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: courier new;"><span style="font-family: courier new;"> Of course you realize...<br />
<br />
00F<br />
...I know, I know. Well, if you'd like him to actually receive his present, you might want to send it to "Steve" instead of "NAFOB". By the way, about this "00F" thing for me. Isn't that speciest, or something? Just because I don't have 15,000 feathers all over the place... I have to be ridiculed for that?<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
Why, what on EARTH do you mean?<br />
<br />
00F<br />
Maybe you could call me Mr. Podlaseck.<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
Way too formal. Who can pronounce that name anyway? Can you, Woglinde?<br />
<br />
WOGLINDE<br />
Honk!<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
Absolutely. Hmm.<br />
(to 00F)<br />
Do you have any friends?<br />
<br />
00F<br />
A few.<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
What do they call you?<br />
<br />
00F<br />
Mark.<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
Mark. Ma-rk. Mar-ky. Mar-cus. Mar-co. How about Elmer?<br />
<br />
00F<br />
Nope.<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
Humbert Humbert.<br />
<br />
00F<br />
No way.<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
Michael Vick.<br />
<br />
00F<br />
Come on.<br />
<br />
00F<br />
Your Excellence.<br />
<br />
00F<br />
Let's try out Mark for a while and see how that goes.<br />
<br />
BOSWELL<br />
(turning back to his laptop, whispering to Woglinde)<br />
NO sense of imagination!<br />
<br />
MARK<br />
Well, I'll let you get back to your online shopping. Catch you later!<br />
</span></span></span></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-57183667539261136632008-11-24T20:26:00.005-05:002008-11-24T20:49:54.240-05:00Holiday preparations<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4mejeMTFBhKaE0BZ9fTe9XXJRSOYSiYJMYK0oTCjUGegz2PMiRnQgz0ddGu32EAO7r4RaPTTzuNWQb8AKhjG5vgI_ykG6WOIBAkDn1bBRZ6EOkNpOYR9VGsQkbMcD0xKQsuK-mQWb25w/s1600-h/drsmayer.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4mejeMTFBhKaE0BZ9fTe9XXJRSOYSiYJMYK0oTCjUGegz2PMiRnQgz0ddGu32EAO7r4RaPTTzuNWQb8AKhjG5vgI_ykG6WOIBAkDn1bBRZ6EOkNpOYR9VGsQkbMcD0xKQsuK-mQWb25w/s320/drsmayer.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5272405808970403778" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />00F</span>: Oh, that's a nice picture! Is that Dr. Mayer?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>Yes, that's Dr. Mayer and his wife, Dr. Janet. I need you to do a little Photoshop work on it.<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">00F</span>: Sure. No problem. What do you need?</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span><span>I was thinking a Christmas wreath around my neck....</span><br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">00F</span>: Hmm. OK.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>And can you put a reindeer outside the window, looking in?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">00F: </span>I guess.... Do you mind if I ask what this is for?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>My Christmas cards!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">00F: </span>Christmas cards!? I don't know how geese do Christmas cards, but with humans, it is customary to use a picture of your own family! I'm not trying to elbow my way onto your card, but don't you think AT LEAST your sister would like to be represented in your holiday greeting?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>That's a great idea! Can you Photoshop her in too?!?!?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">00F: </span>Maybe we can take a real picture and forget the Photoshop. You can have whoever you want in it. I think there is something to be said for authenticity in holiday pictures, don't you?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> I guess, but where are we going to get the reindeer?</span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-27388353086857242312008-11-17T21:13:00.016-05:002008-11-20T07:54:57.029-05:00Why are these people smiling?<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">I tend to be a big picture guy. So when I was all but consumed by our presidential election, I neglected to focus on my own insignificant little life. And then, as you might well imagine, my email went completely out of control.<br /><br />To all those of you I ignored: </span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">my friends, I owe you an apology. </span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">I am staying up past midnight every night responding to each and every one of you <span style="font-weight: bold;">personally</span>!!!!!!<br /><br />Here's an item that caught my attention. It contained a photo of two hot techs and a vet student at Tufts Veterinary School, with a bound, gagged, and comatose goose, which I gather is ME!!! I quote the email in its entirety:</span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg01xNBWl90NWKGKfphfODdd9AXcS3r_x85IKqzT_yUbHNL0avteGrNURk4wiBAJgB5glPafOyKLnRkvqM8311agqt7NX4pwlqQ5bEtK30L4L-ns0W2-0TY42pyo-iJm0cdUq5MWDai8MM/s1600-h/Boswell.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg01xNBWl90NWKGKfphfODdd9AXcS3r_x85IKqzT_yUbHNL0avteGrNURk4wiBAJgB5glPafOyKLnRkvqM8311agqt7NX4pwlqQ5bEtK30L4L-ns0W2-0TY42pyo-iJm0cdUq5MWDai8MM/s400/Boswell.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269843072566473506" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-family:courier new;">Hi Boswell,</span><br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-family:courier new;">I work at TUFTS as a technician in the nuclear medicine department. Myself and another technician did your bone scan last week and we took a picture of you with us while you were sleeping away peacefully, while your bone scan was in progress. I will attach the </span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-family:courier new;">photo for you and your Dad 00F. I hope you like it.<br /><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-family:courier new;">I am sure you do remember me since I had to check you the next morning to make sure you were not radioactive with our Geiger counter. You thought that silly looking thing was scary since you kept hissing at it, after I told you it was not going to hurt you you were fine and went back to eating. Well Boswell I hope there were no h</span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-family:courier new;">ard feelings about having to keep you overnight since you were radioactive. Do you know what we call animals when they are radioactive? We call them "Hot" and you are one "hot goose".</span><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">Good luck and we can not wait for you to get better!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">Take Care</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">Jillian</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:courier new;">P.S. If you do not remember our names Jill is on the far left, Kay is in the middle and a vet student is on the far right.</span><br /><br /><br />Thanks for the picture, Jillian. Of course, there are no hard feelings. I actually thought your Geiger counter was a cell phone. Call me old-fashioned, but I have a zero tolerance policy on cell phones. When I have friends over, I insist that all cell phones are turned off and out of sight!<br /><br />Now regarding that picture: If you call that "sleeping away peacefully," you have seen one too many installments of "Saw"!!!!! </span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-29606524610744881952008-11-09T16:02:00.010-05:002008-11-11T08:58:20.433-05:00Overheard in a Bar on the Lower East Side<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">(sitting down at bar; speaking to a goose sitting to his right):</span> Hey there. What are you drinking?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose</span><span style="font-style: italic;">: </span>A Nosedive.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>What's a Nosedive?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Grey Goose vodka and arugula leaves.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Hi bartender. 2 Nosedives please.<span style="font-style: italic;"> (To goose:) </span>I guess you're a little bummed out.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>A bit.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Well, at least you did your best. I'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to.<br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Goose: </span><span>Yeah, well....</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>I know you had a little crush on Sarah Palin, and while she and McCain weren't my choice, I'm really proud of all the hard work you did campaigning in the last few months.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Lot of good it did. <span style="font-style: italic;">(Wistfully) </span>There was just something about the way she winked at me....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>I'm not sure that Sarah Palin could actually <span style="font-style: italic;">see</span> you when you were watching her on television. I don't think television works that way.... So what's this I heard about you biting Henry Kissinger at a fund-raiser?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>He offered me a<span style="font-style: italic;"> foie gras</span> canape!!!! What would you have done??!?!?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man:</span><span> Couldn't you have just said, "No thank you"?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>That wouldn't have had the same impact. Anyway: Mrs. Kissinger was totally sympathetic and apologized profusely for hurting my feelings with her menu.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Was that before she took her husband to the emergency room or after?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose</span>: Before.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bartender: </span>2 Nosedives!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose </span><span style="font-style: italic;">(wriggling tail feathers):</span> Thanks! <span style="font-style: italic;">(Takes a sip and sprays vodka everywhere.) </span>Yum!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span><span>These <span style="font-style: italic;">are</span> good! You know, I don't even remember the last time I saw you. Ever since you trimmed down to your flying weight, you're never around.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose:</span><span> Lots to do.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Well, I'm hoping you have a little more spare time now that the election is over. I heard you had an appointment at Tufts last week. How did that go?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Not bad. My cholesterol is up again.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span><span>What does that mean?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Not sure. We're doubling my Soloxine dose for now.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>OK. Did you see Dr. Mayer?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>He was home because he just had knee surgery. So I flew by his house on my way back. His wife, Dr. Janet, was there and she made me grapes and spinach.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>You hate grapes and spinach.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>I know. But I ate some anyway.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>I'm glad you didn't forget your manners. How was Dr. Mayer's knee?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>He was hobbling around a bit, but I think he is recovering nicely.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Good. Look, I don't know how to put this, but I <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> have missed you. Do you think we can be friends again now that the election is over?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Well....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span><span>If you drive home with me, we can listen to Coldplay.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Actually, I don't really like Coldplay. I was just pretending that I did so people would think I was cool.<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>You don't need to like Coldplay for people to think you are cool!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span><span>Really???</span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />Man: </span><span>Of course not! So what you are you really listening to?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Well, there is this one song....<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span><span>Go ahead.</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span><span>I think it's called the 'Mexican Hat Dance'.</span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />Man</span><span><span style="font-style: italic;"> (looking at iPhone):</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span>Wow! There are a lot of versions of that! Do you know which one you like? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>I think it's a rabbit that sings it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man:</span> Bugs Bunny!??! You like that?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Do you?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man:</span> Are you kidding? I love it! Downloading it now.... We can play it all the way home.</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Cool!!!</span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Friends?</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>BFF!!!</span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-39041237714949676092008-08-04T16:30:00.008-04:002008-12-11T19:02:08.856-05:00Overheard in a Wal-Mart Parking Lot<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">(lifting a goose out of a car's passenger seat):</span> Here we are!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">(looking around, confused): </span>Here we are -- where?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Here we are to get your stereo!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Where?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Here! Wal-Mart!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>I don't want a stereo from Wal-Mart!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Huh?<br /><br /></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2t1l4FsAhUEgpnn5p-A3dwABYcHsHGQrut66Xys2_PCizKTd3Me6WkpAp7cNWyM6Z7se5CuciVLzTOMPdZEhLK1yK8Z27UYW7Ipxei7cBTQb6AwfV4tm8rRGe-vfiiidQc_87_YXgC04/s1600-h/wm1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2t1l4FsAhUEgpnn5p-A3dwABYcHsHGQrut66Xys2_PCizKTd3Me6WkpAp7cNWyM6Z7se5CuciVLzTOMPdZEhLK1yK8Z27UYW7Ipxei7cBTQb6AwfV4tm8rRGe-vfiiidQc_87_YXgC04/s320/wm1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230775397751197186" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Goose: </span>I picked out my stereo like you suggested, and we are not going to find it anywhere near a Wal-Mart!!!!!!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Ok. Why don't you fill me in then?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Well, I posted a question on Audioholics.com about the best system for a barn....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>You gotta be kidding me! Did you say you were a goose?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Of course not! What difference does it make? Do you say you're a vegetarian when you're posting a question to the Mac Owners Support Group?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Ok, fine. And what kind of response did you get?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Very helpful!!! I think I'm just about ready to order a system.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Order? Can't we just go get it?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Well, actually the speakers need to be special ordered, because they are custom-made.<span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />(To two women passing:)</span> Hi ladies!!!! Looking good today!!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Woman #1: </span>Oh my God, aren't you cute!!!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose </span><span style="font-style: italic;">(wriggling tail feathers):</span> Not as cute as you in that red dress!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Woman #2: </span>Hahaha! Shake your tail feathers again! That is so sweet!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man </span><span style="font-style: italic;">(interrupting): </span>Excuse me!!! Excuse me!!! We're having a personal conversation here! Do you mind?<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(To goose): </span>Ok, tell me about these custom-made speakers.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Altec Lansings. A7's. Really sweet!!!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Great. And how much are these A7's?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>58.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>58?? 58 what?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>58 hundred.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA!! $5800????<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>Per speaker.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Let me get this straight. You want to buy $12,000 speakers for your 3 Coldplay CD's???<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span><span>I</span> have <span style="font-weight: bold;">5</span> Coldplay CD's!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Let me make a suggestion. Since we're here, let's pick something up for you to try out. And if you don't like it, we can return it and look for a better alternative.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>I am not getting a stereo from Wal-Mart. Only small children have stereos from Wal-Mart and I have very sensitive ears!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>So we are getting nothing here?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>That's right.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man: </span>Ok. That's your decision. Do you want to do anything else this afternoon? Should we go to the lake and drop the kayak in for a while?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Goose: </span>That sounds good!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Man </span><span style="font-style: italic;">(picking up goose and putting him back into the passenger seat): </span>It does, doesn't it? Let's get out of here.<br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-79816770647579506382008-08-01T20:21:00.004-04:002008-12-11T19:02:09.336-05:00Mayor Bloomberg, we need to talk....<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcS4HNLvj6hwsoy288IBQw9je5YyVNHRtR3IqqtMsB62aCuR89gOO3sTWWmxcj0gTakrVnc8fre2RyOnt6gC-0n2W1PXUFJIyg5o7_K-gt68xhALTib8X1AaiuemRZs4mPS8LIRu4Yubk/s1600-h/DONTHONK_lo-res.jpg"><br /><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcS4HNLvj6hwsoy288IBQw9je5YyVNHRtR3IqqtMsB62aCuR89gOO3sTWWmxcj0gTakrVnc8fre2RyOnt6gC-0n2W1PXUFJIyg5o7_K-gt68xhALTib8X1AaiuemRZs4mPS8LIRu4Yubk/s320/DONTHONK_lo-res.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229709587135265362" /></a>Are there any sounds more beautiful than the honking of a goose? And if you have to think, let me tell you, the answer is "absolutely not." <div><br /></div><div>And yet... my friend, Dawn, found this street sign on Dyer Avenue between 41st and 42nd Streets, in New York City. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>She writes: </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Frankly, this is discrimination against geese, and you don't have to take it. "Don't honk"?! What be will next? "Don't eat the grass"? Or "Don't bite the humans!" Appalling!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div>Thank you, Dawn. Is it discrimination or just bad taste in music? I'll let you know....</div></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-48850012496212639802008-08-01T17:49:00.013-04:002008-12-11T19:02:09.940-05:00Tufts trip #235 (One way!!!!!!)<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">I drove up to Tufts yesterday for what I thought was going to be a simple chemo treatment. Little did I know that a nuclear bone scan was scheduled. And even <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">littler</span> did I know that after a nuclear bone scan, you have to spend the night because you are RADIOACTIVE!!!!<div><br /></div><div>So here I am, in the exotic ward with a ferret, a chicken, a bunny, an african grey parrot and an eclectus parrot, waiting for 00F to come take me home to my barn. (I actually miss it!! Can you believe it???) The parrots are fun to talk to, but as soon as they finish dinner, all they care about is falling asleep in front of the TV. So as I wait very patiently, for 00F to get me out of here, I will spend this time productively by catching up on my blog.</div><div><br /></div><div>(Memo to Gremlin Baby: I actually type with my bill. You seem like a nice guy, so I am sure that you won't make any "hunt and peck" jokes!!!)</div><div> </div><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFBIKfubQiYdVgDpkLjSxinYGf5ff7tgvPYlmqc22ebNL2nsVXN9a1CHnEQP7KVp-ipHtGRJtkYiBIt6z_oK-ayNaof6e1fy22eEOoWHxiiHmONWNkBi_71hmTv6HH_UPq3XO740wnork/s320/scan.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229699070350222546" border="0" /><div>So, for my medically-minded readers, here's a computer-enhanced version of my bone scan. You can see the osteo-sarcoma lesion on my left leg.</div><div>And before you say "Oh my God, Boswell!!!!!! That must hurt like @#$#@!!!!!," I should tell you I'd rather have a little pain in my thigh than be sitting in a large pot of boiling water surrounded by carrots and bay leaves -- any day!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Dr. Mayer was pretty happy that my bone looked okay, that the lesion had not grown significantly, and that it did not appear to have spread anywhere else. And if Dr. Mayer is happy, I am ROFL.</div><div><br /></div><div>There was one number on my labs that puzzled him: my cholesterol was over 1000! I hope that this does not result in a misguided search of my beloved 48" Liebherr side-by-side refrigerator & freezer combo. And if someone finds the 17 quarts of Chubby Hubby... Woglinde -- can we pretend it's yours??????</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL7ksQbWN_U3G0fTxVHdCfP7OA4sAOv7aiN-AXQz046jKiMtR4D3JxdrB5m1dnIlSE_mSMlGyX203yfY3X-ojl_IULPQ2j7DNQQtEOFVba4cXrHAb13Q87fhJc8MpQjA_bCFsEvXLJpZQ/s320/tufts1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229703026843754002" border="0" /><div>Awwwww!!!!! Here's a cute picture of me (in front), Andrea Bergeron (V '09, on left), and Dr. DeCubellis (right). Dr. DeCubellis had just played a prank on me when I wasn't looking and made a huge mess of arugula leaves around my bowl. </div><div><br /></div><div>Dr. DeCubellis, nice try, but everyone knows my table manners are perfect!!!!!</div><div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipOq9hQvBojYCF5FKlpoNVLaSE772NTlqOmc9p18FfRiKTOsQfoyuVlXEvmJFhkkdJ7WoaRKKvYc2kZFaew98M-5Ut1LHdGoZBAIJ_YP0_HWp0uaNi6XS1xl9eG0BmGwMwZxX1D2LZSgE/s320/who+are+you+looking+at.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229704547749516914" border="0" /><div>This is me waiting for 00F to come get me. </div><div><br /></div><div>Hmm. What is that blue thing around my neck?!?!?!??!?!??! <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Shheesh!!!!</span> I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">told</span> that parrot that I did <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">NOT</span> want to wear his goofy bandanna!!!! I guess this is play-a-joke-on-Boswell day!!!! </div><div><br /></div><div>OOF, if you are reading this, I am really ready to come home!!</div></div></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-27252292460890788552008-07-23T20:30:00.006-04:002008-07-24T12:43:45.148-04:00Viva la vida<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F: </span>We need to talk.<div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> Mmm. Can it wait? I'm a little busy right now....</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F:</span> You're not busy. You're looking at geese on petfinder.com.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">(closing my laptop)</span>: *sigh*</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F: </span>So what's all this email I'm getting about you and Woglinde moving into the house? You know perfectly well that she doesn't want to live in the house. She likes it here in the barn.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>I know!!!! That's why I want to find her a replacement goose, so that she's not lonely when <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">I</span> move into the house!!!!</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F:</span> Look, you know she does not want a replacement goose. OK? </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>Ummm.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F:</span> I don't have to remind you who snuggled with you when you were sick, do I? Who preened your feathers for you? </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> Woglinde?</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F: </span>That's right. So you're not leaving her here, with or without a replacement goose.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">WAAAAAHHHHHH!</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F: </span>Whoa! Calm down. Tell me, what is it that's so appealing about the house?</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">*sniff sniff*</span> Well, for one, the stereo....</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F: </span>What?!</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">never</span> get to play my Coldplay CDs up here!!!!! And if I lived at the house, I could play them all the time!!!</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F: </span>Well, actually you couldn't.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>What??? Why not?</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F:</span> Because I hate Coldplay.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>What?!?!?!??!?!!? That's not true!! You always play Coldplay in the car!!!!!!!!!</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F: </span>Only when you're riding with me! And that's because I know you like them! I'm sorry, man. I couldn't deal with Coldplay playing all the time in the house. That would be a nightmare.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">*hiss!!!!*</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F:</span> Look, if you had told me this earlier, we could have bought you a stereo to play up here in the barn.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>A stereo !!!!! My own? Really!!!!????</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F:</span> Do you want to go pick one out this weekend? </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">*tail wriggle*</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F:</span> Ok, then. Why don't you do a little research online before we go? I think you'll need one with an infinite repeat function.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> And a subwoofer?</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">00F: </span>If you must.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> Viva la vida!!!!!!</div></div></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-67374472405384841912008-07-20T18:57:00.012-04:002008-12-11T19:02:10.234-05:00I Don't Understand Women<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><div>I really don't.</div><div><br /><div>A couple posts ago, I recounted a conversation I had with 00F, in which I all but convinced him that it would be a great thing for both of us if I moved into the house. Reader comments were extremely supportive of this idea. In fact, many of you had helpful suggestions for amenities that I might enjoy! <br /><br />There was one exception, a certain "Shelly T," who suggested that I had a "pretty sweet set-up" in the barn. And that I should be happy where I am!!!!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>What? Who could possibly say such a weird thing??!?!??!? And why?<br /><br />Folks, I may not be the most tech-savvy goose in the blogosphere, but when I saw this, I knew "Shelly T" had to be my sister, Woglinde!!</div><div><br /></div><div><div>The next morning I decided to confront her. "Look, sis. I know you are 'Shelly T'. Why are you trying to sabotage my plans?!?!??!" <div><div><br /></div><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZJy5nSK2tjqTbP-V0pegrOdvEmnSSuxX0Fo46GPTUIC1RQUhzNo9zs0PJmO5d6wa8KUH_AgpXzTr-u2gLYASAlixojgBtn0PIM4ieL-nEo7CIXBa-pDDfarHjTzBJNBZ1D6I89lATSr4/s320/woglinde1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225306088228392738" /><div>She clucked and turned away from me. I knew she was going to start crying. Oh no!!!!<br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>"Look here, Woglinde, don't cry!!!" I said. "You can get another goose to keep you company in the barn if you don't want to live in the house!!! I saw lots of them on Petfinder.com!!!!"</div><div><br /></div><div>Nope. She doesn't want another goose. She wants me! Why????</div><div><br /></div><div>"Woglinde, you're too good for me! You deserve better!! I'm a selfish jerk. Just look at this cool goose named Goliath!!!"</div><div><br /></div><div>Nope. Nope. Nope. She wouldn't even look at the computer. </div><div><br /></div><div>Woglinde, I completely understand that you are a simple country goose, and that you want to live in a barn. But I want more! I want excitement! I want adventure! I want to go driving with my head out the window listening to Coldplay!!!! I want to watch the Daily Show before I go to bed! And I am not getting that in the barn!! Don't you understand?!?!</div><br /></div></div></div></div></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-88264866502479447002008-07-18T19:10:00.012-04:002008-12-11T19:02:10.402-05:00Why do Round, Shiny Objects Turn Me into a Raving Lunatic?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXHaDJtlC1qY39TS_bhGa5vPcEFGQLnZJWyuOlOk4-eGg3UgmUT1YX1CzDdmGxo4kDjWGVKO_SAv9Z-Mvp6Mqk5edEGtY5Pqb6VnQVRqQ7gBJ0U9pfJ6bLglVONeBTFGXyNOxqIV2zN-8/s1600-h/metal+bowl.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXHaDJtlC1qY39TS_bhGa5vPcEFGQLnZJWyuOlOk4-eGg3UgmUT1YX1CzDdmGxo4kDjWGVKO_SAv9Z-Mvp6Mqk5edEGtY5Pqb6VnQVRqQ7gBJ0U9pfJ6bLglVONeBTFGXyNOxqIV2zN-8/s200/metal+bowl.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225308682710911058" /></a><div><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">I really cannot explain it. I will have to ask Dr. Mayer next time I see him.</span><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-41014828063939048452008-07-15T17:43:00.009-04:002008-12-11T19:02:10.641-05:00Where I Don't Live and Why I Don't Live There<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">Thanks for all the comments and emails everyone has been sending me!!!!!! 00F says that he is amazed at how kind everyone has been to a goose. Why shouldn't they be kind???? I'm a great guy!!!!<br /><br />I have been feeling a little droopy today from the chemo last week, but not so droopy that I can't answer some fan-mail before bedtime.<br /><br />I'll start with a <span style="font-style: italic;">very</span> interesting question from Bill in Chicago.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Boswell, if you're that darn special, why do you live in a barn and not in a house with 00F?"</span><br /></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">Brilliant question, Bill. I have <span style="font-style: italic;">no</span> idea!!!!<br /><br />So I tonight I ask 00F the very same question.<br /><br />"Well, Peanut." (He always calls me Peanut when he is explaining something that he thinks I won't understand. I hate that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) "There are at least three reasons I can think of...."<br /><br />"Go on," I say. Three reasons!!!!! What could they be?!?!?!?!?!?!<br /><br />"Well, for one, geese can't be house-trained."<br /><br />Hmm. Is that my fault?? Not worth asking. "You know, there is a woman that makes diapers for geese so that they can spend more time inside a house with the person they love," I offer, wiggling my tail feathers.<br /><br />"Forget it. You are not wearing a diaper. You're over two years old."<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">This is ridiculous. "Well, I'm not sure how to put this tactfully. But if I did happen to have a SMALL accident or two inside the house, there is no way it would even be <span style="font-style: italic;">visible</span> under all the giant mounds of dog and cat fur all over the floor!" Take that!!!<br /><br />Silence.<br /><br />"OK, good, that's taken care of. What are the other two reasons?"<br /><br />"Well, Emma lives in the house and you know she would not mind having you for lunch."<br /><br /></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSxGsR0RyC4VZDwpPnSWUIDqqJqBKdnCTmuwM9FaTxyv5HZvV8iCD2lm7Uda64HCeRBCF6Jz0Ftuuty1hMguC0UXk2phU69JvuM2z-fCA3sDz-4fyBKhHQ4lODkht7h4GKmS-fx0NgNMQ/s1600-h/emma.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSxGsR0RyC4VZDwpPnSWUIDqqJqBKdnCTmuwM9FaTxyv5HZvV8iCD2lm7Uda64HCeRBCF6Jz0Ftuuty1hMguC0UXk2phU69JvuM2z-fCA3sDz-4fyBKhHQ4lODkht7h4GKmS-fx0NgNMQ/s200/emma.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223779082347560578" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">Emma is a Siberian Husky. She eats cute little creatures like me just for the heck of it. She must be part wolf. There are also two other dogs, Ossies, I think, called Nick and Wally. Both the boys are clueless, but they do respect my authority.<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">"I think Emma has made some <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> good progress lately," I say. "She's a lot more interested in eating the waterfowl pellets than she is in eating me!! You know you were <span style="font-style: italic;">very</span> successful in training her not to eat the cats!! So... I guess it's just a matter of you finding the time in your schedule to </span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">finish training her</span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">. Unless, of course, you just don't have the time." I punctuate this with a very loud *sigh* to make it clear that I remember that he <span style="font-style: italic;">did</span> have the time to take Emma and the other dogs (and Nafob!!) to France last year... while I was boarded at the vet!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />"So what are you saying then? You're going to walk around with some pellets to offer her when she is in the mood for a snack?"<br /><br />Sheesh! He can be so dense. "No, I am saying that when you have a dog, it is your responsibility to <span style="font-style: italic;">train it!!!!!!!!</span>"<br /><br />Pause.<br /><br />I have him on this one and he knows it!!!!!! YAY!!!!! Where should I put my water buckets? My arugula bowl? My pellets? My picture of Michele Norris when it comes??? So many things to decide when you are moving!!!!<br /><br />"Were there any other reasons you can think of?"<br /><br />"Yes. There is one big one," he says. "And I'll let you think about what it might be. It's time for bed. Good night. I love you. Good night, Woglinde," he says to my sister. "I love you, angel."<br /><br />Hmm. What could that other reason be?????<br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-91122498462779445022008-07-15T13:55:00.014-04:002008-07-15T17:36:56.828-04:00Cancel my Membership!!!!<span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" >NPR used to be my favorite radio station, but in less than 24 hours, I find that I can barely stand to listen to it. "Why Boswell?" you might ask, "They did such a nice story on you last night!!"<br /><br />"Oh really?!?!?" I might reply. "Just try searching for it on their website using the search term 'goose'. You'll come up with </span><a style="font-family: verdana;" href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17336306"><span style="font-size:85%;">this delicious recipe</span></a><span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" >!!!!!!!!!!!!"</span><a style="font-family: verdana;" href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17336306"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /></span></a><span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" >OMG!!!<br /><br />Bonny!!! I hope you have lots of friends, because you will not be making new ones by saying things like: "...a goose is one fat bird."<br /><br />We're not fat; we're big-boned.<br /><br />NPR, you should know better. You still have time to make it up to me by sending that picture of Michele Norris that I requested 3 days ago!!!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-9962018463566776962008-07-14T09:32:00.005-04:002008-12-11T19:02:10.775-05:00Attention all geese<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">In yesterday's post, I mentioned that I had met a woman who told me about a collision between her car and a goose. This morning I see that she has written a comment on that post to clarify that it was the goose that ran into her car, and furthermore, that the goose walked away unharmed. (Well, maybe missing a feather or two.)</span> <span style="font-family:verdana;">I'm tempted to say that the goose was almost certainly a Chinese goose. (They can be such airheads!!!) But I'd rather take the opportunity to tell <span style="font-weight: bold;">all</span> you geese out there that you should only run into a car </span> </span><ol style="font-family:verdana;"><li><span style="font-size:85%;">when it is stopped,<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">when a door is open, and</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">when someone would like you to be in the car with them.<br /></span></li></ol><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf2NbOTlBoW7f7vpItU2QK128u5D4neEiYLJiOe5A69Yja9-eWHz6bsdwOgcchzrffvEb953S8rd4PHfQOiNcTGSMPR1FX5F6wuhcLAYd0tYwR21wJI9U1vJ4k4w-1UGRkBWNhUmgO7KA/s1600-h/cars.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf2NbOTlBoW7f7vpItU2QK128u5D4neEiYLJiOe5A69Yja9-eWHz6bsdwOgcchzrffvEb953S8rd4PHfQOiNcTGSMPR1FX5F6wuhcLAYd0tYwR21wJI9U1vJ4k4w-1UGRkBWNhUmgO7KA/s200/cars.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5222866677122152466" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">In the future, I'll post a video to demonstrate how this is done correctly. And for those of you who don't know what a car is, they look like this.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-91211655813065545172008-07-13T21:09:00.009-04:002008-12-11T19:02:11.048-05:00No sharks!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmIzrOyk0k3_B4X9uAUB-Pxg8c7lo3uC4IYlFmpAeKxdkIA3WlZUzmV8un9bdT9MJZBVcW_H0EKX_62EtLNMkbalJ8cNvNpvk6c0TT3XkKFHVR6dYS0UIMae0sgZ9q6EQy6HOlI-y78AM/s1600-h/sunday+kayak4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmIzrOyk0k3_B4X9uAUB-Pxg8c7lo3uC4IYlFmpAeKxdkIA3WlZUzmV8un9bdT9MJZBVcW_H0EKX_62EtLNMkbalJ8cNvNpvk6c0TT3XkKFHVR6dYS0UIMae0sgZ9q6EQy6HOlI-y78AM/s320/sunday+kayak4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5222682482277658450" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">Went kayaking again tonight in Fiddler's Pond. I'm getting a lot more comfortable way out in the deep water, but I'm still on the lookout for sharks. 00F says that no one has ever sighted a shark in a freshwater pond. I reply (quoting Donald Rumsfeld): "The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence."</span> <span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br />"Fine," says 00F, and starts humming the theme from <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Jaws</span>, as he paddles out into even deeper water.</span> <span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br />"I'll give you 10 seconds to stop that," I honk, "or I'm swimming off with your paddle." I guess he got the message, because then he started singing "Home on the Range" (my favorite song!!!!). Things cooled down after that. 00F just needs to be reminded who's the boss once in a while.<br /><br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpq3mmOTxTNJdxN7fQD1oXw_k0U6ZkI8bZqu2IPNSb9moQtogtuPD1iD44guJ28k_DRlha5pgTEogLAFW_5LkiR5dPwEPVVwNK4xA8a7wC_IB-NbKtyVUSXw9vH-PCRDtuYDl6js8XwXI/s1600-h/sunday+kayak14.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpq3mmOTxTNJdxN7fQD1oXw_k0U6ZkI8bZqu2IPNSb9moQtogtuPD1iD44guJ28k_DRlha5pgTEogLAFW_5LkiR5dPwEPVVwNK4xA8a7wC_IB-NbKtyVUSXw9vH-PCRDtuYDl6js8XwXI/s320/sunday+kayak14.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5222681428441299506" border="0" /></a></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">When we got back to shore, we met a family that was fishing. (There aren't that many fish in Fiddler's Pond, but <span style="">I</span> was not going to be the one to tell them that!) They were an extremely nice family, although I'm </span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">not entirely sure why the woman told me she hit a goose with her car. Ouch!! I don't even like to think about things like that!!! You can imagine my relief when she said she did not live in Connecticut!!!!!!</span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br />They had a girl named Payton. (Cool name! I'm naming our next gosling Payton!!) Payton was super-sweet and not at all afraid of me! I let her pet my ticklish spot on my chest. Payton, I like you!!!!! Write to me, ok?!?!?!?!?</span><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-9866349054374609212008-07-13T13:43:00.006-04:002008-07-13T14:16:10.785-04:00NPR<span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Vicki Croke emailed my old man, 00F. I hope I am not violating any privacy laws by quoting a few lines:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);font-size:85%;" >Guess what? I'm doing ALL THINGS CONSIDERED on NPR Monday to talk about</span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 102, 102);font-size:85%;" > Boswell. Can I tell Robert Siegel Boswell has a blog now?</span><br /><br />Vicki!!!!!! How long have we known each other??????? We're like family!!!! And then you go and ask <span style="font-weight: bold;">my</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">dad</span> if you can mention <span style="font-weight: bold;">my</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">blog</span> on All Things Considered???!!!!!<br /><br />Get me an autographed picture of Michele Norris and we'll talk.<br /><br />(Michele: It would be really cool if you could do one of those lipstick-kiss things at the bottom of the picture!!!!!!!)</span><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-53799057119442869222008-07-12T08:55:00.003-04:002008-07-15T14:22:13.272-04:00OMG!!! Am I really that fat????<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">Just saw </span><a style="font-family: verdana;" href="http://www.necn.com/Boston/Arts-Entertainment/Mans-best-friend-Boswell-/1215827721.html">this segment about me on NECN</a><span style="font-family:verdana;">.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I know television is supposed to make you look 10 pounds fatter, but I look like a Butterball turkey!!!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I am eating just <span style="font-weight: bold;">one</span> leaf of organic baby arugula for breakfast and <span style="font-weight: bold;">one</span> for dinner. That's it. Nothing else. Also, if I go kayaking tonight, I'm not going to sit in the cockpit for 90% of the trip like I usually do.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8671149257970524971.post-49955884871578452252008-07-11T20:44:00.002-04:002008-12-11T19:02:11.211-05:00Tufts trip #234<span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" >Drove up to Tufts yesterday for some poking and prodding. Sat on the lap of 00F (00 Feathers! He doesn't have a single feather!!!!! Can you believe it?? LOL!!! ROFL!!!!!). That was nice. Nafob (Not a friend of Boswell) drove.<br /><br />I tried to be nice to Nafob, in spite of the way he annoys me. (Note to Nafob: Don't try to be my friend!!! I have enough friends!!)<br /><br />When we got to Tufts, wow! there was a television crew to film me! Cool! Or so I thought for about 5 seconds. And then it quickly turned into a Stanley Kubrick production. Seriously, I think they made me do 60 takes of just walking in the front door. And what's disturbing is that I nailed it on the first take. Whatever. I tried to call in for the editing session, but no one was answering at NECN. (Note to NECN: "Honk!" means put me through immediately! Not: "Put me on hold for 5 minutes and then disconnect me!")<br /><br />Riddle me this: Why are all the techs and front-desk women at Tufts so cute? I'm in love with all of them, and, I admit it, I did flirt shamelessly. Sue me.<br /><br />Dr. Candy was there. I love Dr. Candy. I did give her a little hiss when I first saw her, just to show her that I am not pleased that she is working somewhere else. But once I made that clear, I was on my best behavior. (Dr. Candy: I need your picture for my blog!!! 00F forgot to take our picture together! I am so angry with him!!!!)<br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" >Author/journalist Vicki Croke was also there. I think she was the one responsible for the whole media circus. And yes, I know, maybe I could have been a bit friendlier to her. But I don't want her to think that just because she writes about me for the Boston Globe (whatever that is) and features me in news segments, that I am going to eat dandelions out of her hand. What would she think of me?<br /><br />Filming. Poking. Filming. More poking. Dr. Mayer held me on my back for my treatment. (Note to Dr. Mayer: Was that really necessary???) More filming. Look this way. Don't look at the camera. Being a celebrity is hard work.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghczCVPGJQf5YbJ2qxAFGHSsDdcPL2vrcqim6HJfFIc-yDn7z99mO8I_FjylNePjGL2Ta7k0-UMPMqzcH0tKThUiM86VUihnNfNfZDn-dkTpzS1PQkLyRiMAwXAZZSKZZ6BvOCO65hLI8/s1600-h/shopping.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghczCVPGJQf5YbJ2qxAFGHSsDdcPL2vrcqim6HJfFIc-yDn7z99mO8I_FjylNePjGL2Ta7k0-UMPMqzcH0tKThUiM86VUihnNfNfZDn-dkTpzS1PQkLyRiMAwXAZZSKZZ6BvOCO65hLI8/s320/shopping.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221934118327916018" border="0" /></a></span><span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" >On the way home, we stopped at Blooming Acres Farm. They let me in! No one ever lets me in their stores! (Why is that?) I was delighted. But I did notice a conspicuous lack of m</span><span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" >erchandise displayed at my level. Wait. I take that back. There was a very nice display of tick tweezers right where I could browse it. Extremely interesting, even though I could not figure out how to get the tweezers off the cardboard. I hope that was not an IQ test!!</span><span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" ><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3